Soviet Jokes

Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep.

The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.

He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'

The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'

The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea.

They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.

'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'

The man was horrified 'Why did they spare me?!?'

"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."

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Found at reddit, where there are plenty more jokes in the comments. Here is a selection of those, plus a couple from the comments under the video at YouTube.

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An Englishman, and Frenchman, and a Soviet man were looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their calm, their reserve," says the Englishman. "Clearly, they were english."

"Oh non," says the Frenchman. "Look at them. Naked, elegant, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are french."

"No clothing, no shelter," says the Soviet man. "The only food is one apple, but they are not allowed to eat it, and they are told they live in Paradise. Clearly they live in the Soviet Union."

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Khrushchev visited a pig farm and was photographed there. In the newspaper office, a discussion is underway about how to caption the picture. "Comrade Khrushchev among pigs," "Comrade Khrushchev and pigs," and "Pigs surround comrade Khrushchev" are all rejected as politically offensive. Finally, the editor announces his decision: "Comrade Khrushchev: Third from left."

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Hans, a man from West Germany  decides to move at Eastern Berlin. His mother tells him: Hans, my boy. From the first moment that you cross the Iron Fence, you are in dangerous territory. Don't dare to write me that there is something bad in a communist country. In your letters, you will use a blue pen if you are telling me the truth, and red pen if you are lying.

About 2 weeks later, the first letter arrives, and every word is blue.

My dear mother,

   The 2 weeks that have passed were enough to make me love the East Germany. The people are great, the system cares about everyone, and generally, there is a very pleasant atmosphere. The only negative is that I can't find red pen anywhere.